Investigation disclosed that the pedestrian
was escorted out of Chaser’s Bar & Grill
due to her high level of intoxication
and that while being accompanied by a friend,
she ran into traffic. She was hit by a vehicle
causing her to flip onto the hood.
As she soared, not unlike an eagle, over the hood,
what went through the mind of the pedestrian?
Did she look down on that vehicle
and at her flip flop (still caught in the grill)
and wonder what had happened to her friend?
Did she curse her own intoxication?
Did the flight offer its own sort of intoxication
to the woman, now catching hawks in her hood?
Perhaps she decided the air was her friend,
and that this “gravity” thing was all very pedestrian –
why be Kara Zor-El when you can be Supergirl?
Let your own momentum be your vehicle.
And when she had mastered this vehicle,
did she, instead, grow to love this intoxication?
She had found a thrill outside of Chaser’s Bar & Grill,
starting a new life as a thrill-seeking hoodlum.
The collision was the best change for the pedestrian –
or so she would soon tell her friend.
But she’d have to wait before she could tell her friend
because she was still soaring high above the vehicle
in a display that was anything but pedestrian
and the onlookers caught her intoxication
and word spread throughout the neighbourhood
of the woman floating just outside Chaser’s Bar & Grill.
So much changed that day at Chaser’s Bar & Grill
(300 block W. Gorham St.). Soon the long-suffering friend
peeled her bleeding pal off the car’s hood
and had her transferred to an ambulance
which took her to the hospital to sit out her intoxication.
Paramedics saw to the injuries sustained by the pedestrian.
The neighbourhood could now rest easy at Chaser’s Bar & Grill.
Our drunken friend was issued a citation for intoxication
and “Sudden Pedestrian Movement” due to her running into traffic.